Families Are Systems

When something goes wrong in a family, the system needs someone to blame. That person becomes the scapegoat. They carry the dysfunction so everyone else can pretend the system is healthy.

Maybe you're the one who always gets blamed. Maybe you're the peacekeeper who's exhausted from managing everyone else's emotions. Maybe you're the golden child who's finally seeing the system for what it is.

Whatever your role, you didn't choose it. But you can choose what to do about it.

The Roles in Dysfunctional Families

Understanding your assigned role is the first step to breaking free.

The Scapegoat

The one who gets blamed for everything. The family's dysfunction gets projected onto them. They're not crazy. They're the only one telling the truth about a sick system.

The Golden Child

The one who can do no wrong. They carry the family's hope and expectations. The pressure is crushing, and their identity is wrapped up in performance.

The Enabler

The one who keeps the peace at all costs. They manage, excuse, and cover up the dysfunction. They're exhausted but can't stop because the system depends on them.

The Lost Child

The one who disappears. They learned early that invisibility is safer than engagement. They're disconnected from the family and often from themselves.

What We Work On

Pattern Recognition

Seeing the system for what it is. Identifying manipulation tactics like gaslighting, triangulation, and emotional blackmail. Understanding why you respond the way you do.

Boundary Building

Learning to set limits without guilt. Deciding what you will and won't tolerate. Building the internal strength to hold your boundaries when they're tested.

Relationship Decisions

Low contact, no contact, or restructured contact. There's no one-size-fits-all answer. We work through the decision that's right for your situation.

Identity Recovery

Separating who you are from the role you were assigned. Rebuilding your sense of self after years of manipulation, criticism, or neglect.

Breaking Generational Cycles

Not repeating the patterns with your own children. Building a family culture based on health instead of dysfunction.

For Men Specifically

If you're a man dealing with toxic family dynamics, manipulation, or scapegoat recovery, you might also be interested in Lions Don't Bow. It's the men-focused arm of this practice, built specifically for men reclaiming their identity and leadership.

Visit LionsDontBow.com

How It Works

Family systems coaching happens through individual sessions. We work on your understanding of the system, your responses to it, and your decisions about how to move forward.

Sessions are 60-90 minutes, in-person in Broken Arrow or virtual. Frequency depends on your situation and goals.

Some clients also benefit from including family members in certain sessions, but this is never required and only happens when it serves your goals.

Investment

Individual Session

$250

60-90 minutes

Monthly Package

$897

4 sessions per month

Start Learning Now

Articles to help you understand family dynamics and manipulation patterns.

You're Not Crazy. You're the Scapegoat.

The pattern that destroys good people who were never the problem they were told they were.

Toxic Family Dynamics Explained

How dysfunctional families maintain their dysfunction and why you can't fix it alone.

When to Cut Contact

The decision no one wants to make and how to know if it's the right one.

Ready to Break Free?

A consultation to discuss your situation. No pressure, no pitch. Just honest conversation about what you're facing.

Book a Consultation