Here's a number that should concern you: according to research published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, approximately 40% of couples who go through traditional therapy still get divorced within four years. Meanwhile, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports that success rates vary dramatically depending on the therapist's training - ranging from 70% with highly trained couples specialists down to much lower with general practitioners.
I'm going to tell you why the gap is so wide. And then I'm going to tell you what actually works - because after 35,000 clinical hours working with couples, I've seen the difference between approaches that transform marriages and approaches that just delay the inevitable.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Therapist Training
Most therapists who do couples work were never specifically trained to do couples work.
Let that sink in.
According to a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, participants in couples therapy reported seeing a wide range of practitioners - Marriage and Family Therapists (37%), Clinical Psychologists (23%), Professional Counselors (8%), and Clinical Social Workers (8%). The problem? Many of these professionals were trained primarily in individual therapy and apply those same techniques to two people sitting in a room.
Research from Couple therapy in the 2020s, published in Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, confirms that while 70% of psychotherapists treat couples, effective intervention requires "its own set of theories, approaches, and methods anchored in relational science." Individual therapy techniques adapted for couples simply don't produce the same results.
This isn't their fault. They were never taught. But you're the one paying the price.
Why Once-A-Week Doesn't Work
Let's do the math.
You see a counselor once a week for 50 minutes. After small talk and recap, you have maybe 35 minutes of actual work. In those 35 minutes, you scratch the surface of one issue. Then you go home and spend 10,000+ minutes living in the same patterns that brought you there.
By next week, you've had three more fights. The insight from last session is buried under fresh resentment. So you start over. Again.
According to ChoosingTherapy.com's research compilation, 55% of couples are in therapy for six months or fewer, with most counselors offering an average of 12 sessions as a standard plan. The Well Marriage Center reports that 65.6% of cases are completed within 20 sessions.
But here's the devastating statistic: According to research cited by The Gottman Institute, unhappy couples wait an average of six years before seeking help. Six years of chronic conflict, resentment, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and negative patterns - before they even walk through a therapist's door.
Couples in crisis don't need a weekly check-in. They need immersion.
The Gottman Difference
In the 1980s, Dr. John Gottman started doing something no one had done before: he brought couples into a lab, watched them interact, measured their physiology, and tracked their outcomes over decades.
What he found changed everything.
According to The Gottman Institute's research, he identified specific patterns that predict divorce with startling accuracy. Fortune Magazine reported that after decades of research observing thousands of couples, the Gottmans have predicted the odds of divorce with 94% accuracy.
He identified what he calls the Four Horsemen - criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling - as the primary predictors of relationship failure. According to Psych Central's analysis, these behaviors predict divorce with 93% accuracy when present consistently in a marriage. The Gottman Institute's own research shows that 96% of the time, you can predict the outcome of a conversation based on the first three minutes of the interaction.
Most significantly, contempt - expressing superiority through sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mockery - was identified as the single greatest predictor of divorce. According to research from 1994 cited by Psych Central, contempt is the number one predictor of divorce within the first six years of marriage.
This isn't theory. It's observed, measured, replicated science.
When I became Gottman Method certified, it transformed how I work with couples. I stopped guessing. I started seeing the patterns in real time and knowing exactly how to interrupt them. I could predict where a conversation would derail before it happened - and teach couples to catch it themselves.
What Makes Our Approach Different
I'm going to be direct about what we do differently at Dr. Hines Inc., because you deserve to know before you invest your time and money.
We specialize. We don't generalize.
This practice exists to transform marriages. That's it. I'm not seeing individual clients for anxiety on Tuesday and then dabbling in couples work on Thursday. Marriage transformation is what I do - backed by over 35,000 clinical hours focused on this specific work.
We're Gottman certified.
That means every intervention I use has research behind it. I can explain why it works, show you the data, and predict your outcomes with accuracy. This isn't guesswork wrapped in empathy.
We do intensives, not maintenance.
Our signature approach is the marriage intensive - two to three full days of focused, uninterrupted work on your relationship. No waiting a week to follow up on a breakthrough. No losing momentum to the chaos of daily life.
According to Couples Therapy Inc., intensive couples therapy offers "the equivalent of 3 to 6 months of traditional therapy in just one focused weekend." The Marriage Intensive reports that "countless couples had been to other therapists, but found those experiences to be ineffective at best, and often harmful" - until experiencing the intensive format.
Research supports this approach. SoulCare Counseling reports that 92% of couples who complete Emotionally Focused Therapy intensives see significant progress in their relationship. The Marriage Restoration Project cites research showing 70-80% of couples experience measurable improvement through the intensive format.
We integrate faith without losing clinical rigor.
I hold a Doctorate in Christian Counseling, but I don't ask you to pray your problems away. I integrate biblical principles with evidence-based psychology because both matter. Your marriage is a covenant and a relationship - it needs spiritual grounding and practical skills.
We tell you the truth.
I'm not here to validate you. I'm here to help you build something worth staying in. That means I'll challenge you. I'll point out patterns you'd rather not see. I'll hold up a mirror when you're convinced the problem is only your spouse.
Good couples work requires honesty, not just empathy.
What Happens In Our Intensives
People ask what a marriage intensive actually looks like. Here's the reality:
Day one is excavation. We go beneath the surface fights to find the real wounds driving them. Usually these are attachment injuries - moments when you needed your spouse and they weren't there, or vice versa. We map your cycle: the predictable dance you do that always ends in disconnection.
Day two is reconstruction. Now that we see the pattern, we interrupt it. We teach your nervous system that your spouse isn't the enemy. We practice new ways of communicating that actually land instead of triggering defense.
Day three is integration. We build a plan for maintaining what you've learned. We anticipate the triggers waiting for you at home. You leave with specific tools and a follow-up structure to keep the momentum going.
As Dr. Mike McNulty, Senior Faculty at The Gottman Institute, describes: intensive couples therapy provides "a rapid and comprehensive assessment of the relationship" followed by focused intervention. He notes that "intensive couples therapy offers the equivalent of 3 to 6 months of traditional therapy in just one weekend."
In 72 hours, I watch couples who couldn't be in the same room without exploding learn to actually hear each other. I've seen men who'd given up become the husbands they always wanted to be. I've watched women drop the walls they built for protection and risk being vulnerable again.
This is what's possible when you give a marriage the attention it actually deserves.
The Hard Truth About Saving Your Marriage
I need to say something that might surprise you coming from a marriage counselor: not every marriage should be saved.
I've seen too many people stay in situations that were destroying them because they thought commitment meant endurance at any cost. Sometimes one spouse isn't interested in real change. Sometimes there's abuse disguised as "communication problems." Sometimes the marriage has become a prison dressed up as a partnership.
My job isn't to keep you married. My job is to help you build something worth staying in - or give you the clarity to recognize when that's not possible.
But here's what I've seen over 35,000 hours: when both people are genuinely willing to do the work, most marriages can be transformed. Not just saved. Transformed.
The research backs this up. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in emotional well-being. SoulCare Counseling reports that 70-75% of couples who complete EFT experience significant change, with 90% seeing marked improvement - compared to 35% effectiveness for the next most effective model.
That's not a small improvement. That's a different outcome entirely.
Is This Right For You?
Our intensives aren't for everyone.
They're not for couples who want a referee to declare a winner. They're not for people looking for validation that everything is their spouse's fault. They're not for anyone who wants to check a box without actually changing.
They're for couples who are serious. Couples who know something has to shift. Couples who are willing to look at themselves as honestly as they've been looking at their partner.
If that's you, let's talk.
Your marriage is either growing or dying. There's no neutral. And the approach you choose will determine which direction you go.
I've spent 35,000 hours learning what works. I'd rather spend a few of them helping you than watching you waste months on something that won't.
Dr. Johnathan Hines holds a Doctorate in Christian Counseling and is Gottman Method certified with over 35,000 clinical hours specializing in marriage transformation. His practice offers intensive programs for couples ready to do the real work. Learn more at DrHinesInc.com.
Sources Referenced
- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy - Marriage counseling success rates: https://mydenvertherapy.com/couples-therapy-statistics/
- American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists research: https://www.wellmarriagecenter.com/what-percentage-of-marriages-survive-after-counseling/
- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy - Therapist training study: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmft.12479
- Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy - Couple therapy in the 2020s: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10087549/
- ChoosingTherapy.com - Marriage counseling statistics: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/marriage-counseling-statistics/
- The Gottman Institute - When to seek counseling: https://www.gottman.com/blog/when-is-it-a-good-time-to-seek-counseling/
- The Gottman Institute - Six things that predict divorce: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-6-things-that-predict-divorce/
- Fortune Magazine - Gottman divorce prediction accuracy: https://fortune.com/well/article/predict-divorce-communication-style-gottman-institute/
- Psych Central - Four Horsemen research: https://psychcentral.com/blog/predicting-divorce-the-four-horsemen-of-the-apocalpyse
- Couples Therapy Inc. - Marriage intensives: https://couplestherapyinc.com/
- The Marriage Intensive: https://www.themarriageintensive.com/
- SoulCare Counseling - Weekend marriage counseling: https://www.soulcarecounselingdfw.com/blog/weekend-marriage-counseling
- The Marriage Restoration Project - Best marriage intensives 2025: https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/best-marriage-intensives-2025/
- Chicago Relationship Center - Dr. Mike McNulty intensives: https://www.chicagorelationshipcenter.com/intensive-couples-therapy-dr-mike-mcnulty-senior-faculty-gottman-institute
- SoulCare Counseling - Couples intensives: https://www.soulcarecounselingdfw.com/couples-intensives