Flooding De-escalation Protocol

Emotional flooding occurs when physiological arousal overwhelms the capacity for rational thought. Heart rate exceeds 100 BPM, stress hormones surge, and the prefrontal cortex goes offline. In this state, productive conversation is impossible. Clinicians must recognize flooding and intervene before sessions become harmful.

Recognizing Flooding

Physical Signs

• Rapid breathing, visible chest movement
• Flushed face or pallor
• Clenched jaw, fists, or crossed arms
• Restlessness or frozen stillness
• Voice changes (louder, higher pitch, or flat/quiet)
• Sweating or visible trembling

Behavioral Signs

• Repeating the same point with increasing intensity
• Unable to hear partner's perspective
• Interrupting constantly
• Stonewalling (shutdown response)
• Threatening to leave session or relationship

In-Session De-escalation Protocol

Step 1: Stop the Conversation

Intervene clearly but calmly:

• "I'm going to pause us here."
• "Let's take a breath before we continue."
• "I notice things are getting heated. That's a signal we need to slow down."

Step 2: Normalize and Educate

Remove shame from the experience:

• "This is your nervous system protecting you. It's automatic."
• "When we get flooded, we literally can't think clearly. The thinking brain goes offline."
• "This happens in every relationship. What matters is how we handle it."

Step 3: Physiological Intervention

Engage the parasympathetic nervous system:

• Breathing: Slow exhale (longer than inhale)
• Grounding: Feet on floor, feel the chair
• Water: Offer water; drinking activates vagal response
• Movement: Brief standing, stretching if needed

Step 4: Assess Readiness

Before resuming, check:

• "On a scale of 1-10, how activated do you feel right now?"
• "Are you able to hear [partner's name] right now?"
• "Do you need more time?"

Teaching Couples the Time-Out Protocol

Couples need a structured approach for managing flooding at home:

1. Signal: Agree on a neutral word or gesture that means "I'm flooding"
2. Separate: Go to different rooms or spaces
3. Self-soothe: No ruminating. Engage in calming activity (walk, music, breathing)
4. Minimum time: At least 20 minutes (physiological recovery time)
5. Return: Come back and either resume or schedule time to revisit

Common Mistakes

• Pushing through: Continuing conversation with flooded client causes harm
• Taking sides: Validating one partner while other is flooded escalates
• Premature return: Resuming before nervous system has recovered
• Using the break to ruminate: This maintains flooding rather than resolving it

This clinical resource is provided by Dr. Hines Inc. For consultation or referrals, contact (918) 212-5330.