DARVO Response Protocol

DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) is a manipulation pattern identified by psychologist Jennifer Freyd. It describes how perpetrators respond when held accountable for their behavior. Understanding this pattern is essential for practitioners, as DARVO can occur in session and can derail therapeutic progress if not recognized and addressed.

The Three Components

Deny

The perpetrator denies the behavior occurred, despite evidence:

• "That never happened."
• "You're making things up."
• "I don't remember that at all."
• "That's not what I said/did."

Attack

When denial fails, the perpetrator attacks the victim's credibility:

• "You're crazy/unstable/too sensitive."
• "You always twist things."
• "Everyone knows you exaggerate."
• "You have mental health issues."

Reverse Victim and Offender

The perpetrator claims to be the true victim:

• "I can't believe you're attacking me like this."
• "After everything I've done for you."
• "You're the one who's abusive."
• "I'm the one who's been hurt here."

Recognizing DARVO in Session

Watch for these patterns during couples or family sessions:

• One partner consistently redirects complaints back to the complainer
• Discussions of specific incidents become debates about who remembers correctly
• The person whose behavior is questioned becomes tearful or enraged
• The original issue is never addressed; sessions end with focus on the perpetrator's distress
• The actual victim apologizes for bringing up concerns

Response Protocol

Step 1: Name the Pattern (Internally)

When you observe DARVO, note it without immediately confronting. Observe whether this is a consistent pattern or an isolated defensive moment.

Step 2: Redirect to Original Issue

When victim and offender roles are reversed, gently redirect:

• "I want to make sure we address the original concern before we move on."
• "Let's come back to what [victim] was describing."
• "I'm noticing we've shifted focus. Let's return to the initial issue."

Step 3: Protect the Victim's Reality

Without taking sides prematurely, support accurate perception:

• "I heard you describe [specific incident]. Tell me more about that."
• "It sounds like this experience was significant for you."
• Avoid statements that could be heard as doubting the victim's account

Step 4: Consider Individual Sessions

If DARVO is persistent, individual sessions may be necessary to:

• Assess safety concerns
• Provide psychoeducation to the victim without perpetrator interference
• Evaluate whether couples work is appropriate

Teaching Clients to Recognize DARVO

Psychoeducation helps victims identify the pattern:

1. Explain the DARVO acronym and each component
2. Review past incidents through this lens
3. Help client notice physical/emotional responses to DARVO
4. Develop scripts for maintaining position when DARVO occurs

This professional resource is provided by Dr. Hines Inc. For consultation or referrals, contact (918) 212-5330.